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- First, you need GLaDOS's sound files. These can be found here: theportalwiki.com/wiki/GLaDOS_… (naturally, spoilers abound).
- This site contains the audio files for every voice line in-game for every character in the Portal series, so if you'd rather someone other than GLaDOS (though why in Aperture would you?!), or want to supplement your new GLaDOS computer system with some other characters too, you can get their voice lines as well.
- Next up, you're going to need an idea of what quotes you want to use, and get ready to set them. You'll need to open up your system sounds editor. On my Windows 7, I just right-click while in my desktop, click "Personalize", then when that menu opens up, I just click "Sounds" on the bar beneath all my themes. Alternately, I can just use the search or Control Panel to get to the "Sound" option window, and click the button "Sounds" on the bar on the top. Depending on your operating system and version, finding how to change your system sounds may be a little different, but should not be too difficult.
- Find some quotes for various system sounds. Download the voice lines into an easy to find folder, and select them for whichever sounds you think best. It may take a while to browse through all the lines, so if you can remember a quote you particularly like, try using Ctrl+F and searching up some key words from it. There's no need to do every sound though, so just do as many as you feel like.
- A few of the ones I picked:
- "Do NOT plug that little idiot into MY mainframe." for "Device Connect"
- "Don't you DARE plug him in." for "Device Failed to Connect"
- "Well done. Here come the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: A horrible person. We weren't even testing for that." for "Print Complete"
- "You broke it, didn't you?" for "Critical Stop" and "Program Error"
- "Surprise." for "Exclamation"
- "I thought about our dilemma, and I came up with a solution that I honestly think works out best for one of both of us." for "Question"
- "Go ahead, plug me in!" for "Low Battery Alarm" and "Critical Battery Alarm"
- "Oh... it's you." for "Windows Log On"
- A few of the ones I picked:
- Remember to hit "Apply" or "OK". Additionally, you should always hit "Save As..." with every few changes, name the Sound Scheme "GLaDOS" or whatever you want, and let it override the last save to update the theme. Otherwise, if you change to another theme for your system, you might lose some changes.
- NOTE: If you hit the scroll wheel before you've clicked one of the sounds, it may cycle through other Sound Schemes. Just be warned about that.
- NOTE: If you hit the scroll wheel before you've clicked one of the sounds, it may cycle through other Sound Schemes. Just be warned about that.
- Enjoy your new homicidal and passive-aggressive computer system. And don't let it near any neurotoxin. Or potatoes.
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Just a quick How-To for those who want to spruce up their system sounds with everyone's favorite evil computer system (sorry, HAL). Can also be used for pranks 
Enjoy, and comment some of the sounds you picked for your now-much-more-Science-oriented computer.
Also, for those who haven't heard yet, LEGO Portal is confirmed: brickset.com/article/15231/mor…
Enjoy, and comment some of the sounds you picked for your now-much-more-Science-oriented computer.
Also, for those who haven't heard yet, LEGO Portal is confirmed: brickset.com/article/15231/mor…
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Why did my computer ask me if I had any neurotoxin dispensers in my room? I'm shaking...